Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Werther's Original

Werther's Original is my favourite candy, and I've received a lot of flack for admitting that. "It's old man candy!" they all say. I have two questions for those people:

1. What makes a candy an old-man candy?
2. Who cares?

Candy is candy. By definition, it is sweet and delicious. Wether's Original is sweet butterscotch hard candy that I've been eating since I was a young boy. See what I said there? I said "young boy". Not old man. I've never been an old man, and I still like Werther's Original. My opponents argue that it's old-man candy because old men eat it. I say to them that old men keep Werther's Original around to give to their grandchildren and other youngsters; therefore, if you must slap a demographic label on it, you should call it grandchildren candy.

You know, I really don't care that a lot of old men buy Werther's Original. It's still delicious. Why should I hate a delicious candy simply because old men happen to like it, too? Does it make it taste any less delicious? Is every piece of candy infused with old man cooties? Is the final step at the Werther's Original factory a tub full of naked old men and candy? No.

I have seen several old men eating mashed potatoes. Should I stop eating mashed potatoes since I quite clearly am not an old man? Am I not allowed to eat mashed potatoes until I have grandchildren? If your answer to that question is "Yes", then I will firmly extend my middle finger in your direction. Mashed potatoes are my favourite food. And Werther's Orginal are my favourite candy.

Up yours, Internet!


  1. I think people stereotype Werther's as an old man candy simply because of the commercial.

  2. I also love Werthers. Goes down smoooooooooth. I've even used Werthers when I'm sick and coughing in the middle of the night and have no cough drops, and they work just as well if not better. Yes, that is how smoooooooooth they are.

  3. I would never usually waste my calories on a Werthers but on Sunday someone left a box of them in the RS room where I was on bad baby duty so I sneaked one out and ate it in tribute to you -- and so I could have a buzz for Primary.


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