Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Stupid Questions

You know those stupid questions asking about everyday things? You know, the ones that people think they're clever for asking even though they're stupid and cliche? I'm going to list the ones I hate the most.

If vegetable oil is made of vegetables, what is baby oil made of?
(Mineral Oil, Aloe Vera Extract, Vitamin E, Acetate, Fragrance.)

Why do you park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?
(What the heck is a parkway?)

If humans evolved from monkey's/apes, why are they still here?
(This is a pet peeve of mine that a lot of my fellow Mormons have said. People didn't evolve from chimpanzees or rhesus monkeys or any other ape that is around today.)

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
(Because it's wet, dill-hole.)

You know the signs on restaurant doors? No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service? what if someone goes in with No Pants? Would the restaurant still have to serve them?
(Going without pants would be indecent exposure. Since indecent exposure is against the law, it goes without saying that you have to wear pants to a restaurant.)

Can you slam a revolving door?
(No.)

You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
(I can think of a few reasons. It wouldn't be indestructible at that size. It would be too heavy to fly. It would probably cost more.)

Why is the word "abbreviate" so long?
(If it were shorter, it wouldn't be the same word. What, do words have to look like the things they mean now?)

Why is a women's prison called a penal colony?
(The word "penal" has nothing to do with penises.)

Why doesn't "onomatopoeia" sound like what it is?
(What sound does onomatopoeia make?)

What would Cheese say if they got their picture taken?
(Cheese doesn't talk.)

Why do hotdogs come in packs of 8 when hotdog rolls come in packs of 10?
(I have never seen a pack of 8 hotdogs or a pack of 10 hotdog buns. I've only seen them in packs of 6 and 12.)

What do people in China call their good plates?
(Probably a Chinese word that means "good plates".)

Can you cry under water?
(Yeah, I'm pretty sure you can. Just because your tears mix with the water doesn't mean they aren't there.)

Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. But it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
(They are two unrelated figures of speech, neither of which is meant to be taken literally.)

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
(Probably because square boxes are easier to make and handle.)

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
(Yes. Homonym: a word the same as another in sound and spelling but different in meaning.)

2 comments:

  1. Topdogs come in packs of 8, just thought you should know

    ReplyDelete
  2. Gah! You've ruined everything!

    ReplyDelete

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