Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Why Facebook Sucks

First of all, check out this video on YouTube: Facebook In Reality

Okay, now let's talk Facebook. I joined Facebook a couple of years ago after being pressured by my sisters to join. Despite my reluctance to join, I loved Facebook for about a month after I actually joined. It was a great way to keep in touch with my large family, and I was able to find friends I hadn't spoken to in years. High school friends, mission friends, and the like. We got to share pictures of our children and our activities. I was also a big fan of the various apps that had trivia: flixter, Smallville, The Simpsons. I was working at a motel, and I had a lot of spare time on my hands, and it was the perfect way to keep myself occupied. However, I soon tired of trivia, mostly because the questions were written by the users of the features, and we all know that most people are stupid and can't string together a coherent sentence, much less a viable multiple choice question.

Here is what Facebook is good for:

1. Wishing my sisters happy birthday without having to phone them.

2. Looking at pictures of my nieces and nephews that haven't already been posted on a blog that I follow.

3. Finding out where my old friends are.

Here is why I avoid going to Facebook:

1. Ads. "Dread Going Back To Work? Read how I make over $4500 every month part-time from home."

2. Requests. Friend requests I'm fine with. That's the purpose of Facebook. But I have received this request dozens of times: "Hey, I added you as my relative. Could you do me a favor and add this application, then add your relatives too? This way I can see who on facebook I am related to..." You know what? I added this application last year. But even more annoying are things like this: "[name removed] sent a request using (Lil) Blue Cove: Here is a Frenchfry fish for your (Lil) Blue Cove. Could you help me by sending a fish back? Together we can fight Global Warming!" What the hell? Listen, I love the aunt who sent this to me, but seriously, what the hell? None of that makes any damn sense! Really, look at that quote and think about it. And how does sending made-up fish to pretend (Lil) Blue Coves help fight Global Warming. Also, interesting use of parentheses and capitalization.

3. Apps. Or applications, for you old fogies who aren't techno-savvy. The only thing these worthless, mind-numbing things are good for is cluttering up your profile. I especially hate apps that won't let you do anything without sending requests to 20 friends first.

4. Join my group! There are a few groups that would be worth joining. An example of a group that I like is the one for people who served in the Philippines Tacloban Mission. If there's one thing I like to do, it's reminisce, and what better thing to reminisce about than my mission. Most groups, however, are pointless and often humorously specific. Hey, join my group for males born between March 18 and March 22 who like to keep their hair cut short and part it in the middle!

5. Friend requests from complete strangers. I get a lot of these from Filipinos, for some reason. It's like they feel the need to be Facebook-friends with every white person who has set foot in the Philippines. On Facebook, I am only friends with people I know in real life or who I have known consistently online for several year.

6. The "People you may know" feature. I clicked on "see all", and they listed 27 people I may know. I knew who 11 of them were, and of those 11, I wouldn't be able to pick eight of them out of a line-up.

7. Searches. I had a friend when I was a kid named David Jones. Do a search on Facebook for David Jones and see how many results you get. Facebook has the most laughable advanced search parameters I've ever seen on the Internet.

8. Gifts. Gee, thanks for the picture of something cool I might like in real life.

9. Poke. It's not acceptable behaviour in real life, so why would it be acceptable behaviour online?

10. Blogs are better anyway.


  1. I whole-heartedly agree with your stance on apps and requests. They're ridiculous and pointless.

  2. that video is frickin hilarious!
    and I agree..blogs are better, but not everyone I want to stay in touch with has a blog so i'll stay on facebook for now!

  3. I shared this with my roommate, and we decided that there should have been poking in the video.

  4. There was poking in the video. It was the first thing the guy did.


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