Monday, June 7, 2010

Conniving Souls: the rest of it

I searched, and I searched, but I couldn't find the other scenes I had written for Conniving Souls.  All I have is the treatment.  If I ever find the rest of the scenes, or if I ever overcome the pain and suffering enough that I can rewrite them, I'll post them.  But, with the treatment, at least you know how it ends.

Scene 11—Chuck goes to a bar and orders “rum and Coke on the rocks, hold the rum, and no ice.”  Connie watches him drink alone for a while.  After no one has shown up after two hours, she decides on a new method.  She sits down beside him at the bar and strikes up a conversation in an attempt to get information out of him.  She doesn’t get any relevant information, but they have a very pleasant chat.  NOTE: sometime during this scene, Connie asks the bartender if he has any carrots.

Scene 12—Cylash and Crane meet with Connie for an update on the investigation.  Cylash introduces Crane as her lover.  Connie pretends she didn’t hear that.  Connie reports that she hasn’t found any evidence of infidelity.  Crane and Cylash aren’t happy with the results.  Connie assures them that it’s still early in the investigation and tells them to be patient.  After Cylash and Crane leave her office, Crane says he doesn’t trust Connie.  He wants Cylash to hire another PI to watch Connie.  Cylash tells him not to be stupid.  Crane doesn’t reply, but he gets a scheming look on his face.

Scene 13—Chuck goes to the same bar as the previous evening.  Once again, Connie sits next to him, and they talk.  Chuck tells Connie about his troubled marriage.  Connie sympathizes with him.  Emotions begin to stir between the two of them.

Scene 14—Chuck returns home.  Cylash shoves Crane into a broom closet just before he comes in the door.  She asks Chuck where he has been.  He tells her truthfully where he had been.  She calls him a liar and accuses him of having an affair.  They argue, and Cylash storms out of the house again.  Crane sneaks out while Chuck’s back is turned.

Scene 15—Connie is at home.  She is emotionally stressed out, and is therefore binging on carrots.  She feels a responsibility to do the job she has been hired to do, but she pities Chuck and has grown to like him.  She doesn’t want to spy on him.  She decides that she’ll drop the case.  NOTE: her thoughts are expressed as she talks to her pet mice.

Scene 16—The next day, Connie informs Cylash that she’s dropping the case due to a complete lack of evidence.  She has concluded that Chuck isn’t cheating on her.  Cylash argues, but Connie is firm.  Cylash phones Crane and tells him what happened.  Crane says he’ll take care of it.

Scene 17—Chuck offers Cylash some comic books in an effort to patch things up between them.  She takes them, but doesn’t thank him.  She tells him that one small gift doesn’t make up for a year-and-a-half of being a lousy husband.  Chuck asks her why she doesn’t leave him if he’s such a bad husband.  She slaps him and says, “Maybe I will.”  And then she storms out of the house again.

Scene 18—Crane meets with Connie at her office.  He produces some photos of her with Chuck in the bar.  The photos make it appear that the two of them are a couple.  Crane tells her that he’ll report her for becoming romantically involved with the man she was hired to investigate if she doesn’t continue with her investigation.  He also threatens her with unnecessary brain surgery.

Scene 19—Connie and Chuck meet at the bar again.  Connie begins to explain to him what’s been going on.  Crane jumps up from behind the bar and interrupts her.  Cylash enters the bar and sees Chuck and Connie together.  She starts yelling at both of them and accusing them of having an affair.  Crane joins in with the accusations.  Connie accuses them right back.  Overwhelmed, Chuck flees.  Connie follows, but Chuck is faster.

Scene 20—Chuck sits alone on a park bench wondering what just happened.  Meanwhile, Cylash and Crane are planning their next move at Crane’s house.  Connie is on a carrot bender to drown her sorrows.

Scene 21—As Chuck sits on the park bench, his mother, Cyclonia Stanton, sits next to him.  They discuss Chuck’s problems, and then Cyclonia reveals that Crane is Chuck’s half-brother.  She goes on to further reveal that Chuck’s father, Clyde, isn’t really his father.  Crane’s father seduced Chuck’s mother, and Chuck was the result of that brief affair.  Chuck is upset and leaves.

Scene 22—Connie goes to Chuck’s house and she explains what has been going on with no interruptions this time.  Chuck struggles between anger and his fond feelings for Connie.  Finally, they kiss.  Crane and Cylash stand up from behind the couch.  Crane has a gun.  He tells them that now with this proof of Chuck’s infidelity, Cylash would sue him for divorce with a very sizable alimony.  Chuck brings up Cylash’s affair with Crane and says she won’t see a cent.  Crane decides to kill Chuck and Connie instead.  Before he shoots, Chuck tells him that they’re brothers.  Crane turns to an open window and asks his father if it’s true.  Mr. Sextopoulos, who happened to be passing by just then, confirms that Chuck and Crane are in fact brothers.  Crane drops the gun, and Crane and Chuck tearfully embrace.  Cylash picks up the gun and aims it at Chuck.  She shoots him in the shoulder.  Crane says that he never did trust her and lunges at her.  They struggle for the gun, and it goes off.  They pause for a second in one of those cliche moments in which you don’t know who was shot.  It turns out to be Crane’s father outside the window who was killed.  “Dad!” Crane and Chuck cry in unison.  Cylash pulls free with the gun in her hand.  Before she can do anything, Connie steps behind her and jabs her own gun in her back.  Cylash surrenders.  Chuck tells Cylash that he wants a divorce.

Scene 23—Cylash is in jail.  She demands comic books and a better wardrobe.

Scene 24—Chuck and Connie are getting married.  Crane is the best man.  Everything is happy.  The final shot is an extreme close-up of Crane with an evil, shifty-eyed expression on his face.



  1. I'd forgotten about the father out the window.

  2. can we please make this movie? i wanna see it soooo much!


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