Saturday, May 8, 2010

I Need Photoshop

Photoshop is the greatest thing to happen to civilization since the invention of dinosaurs (The invention of dinosaurs, of course, happening in 1945, effectively ending World War II).  Several years ago, before I met my wife, I was given a laptop computer from my parents.  This computer came equipped with Adobe Photoshop Version something-or-other.  Out of sheer boredom at my uneventful job, I taught myself how to slightly-better-than-poorly manipulate photos.

The above isn't one of my photos, but is about on par with my skill level.

My crowning Photoshop achievement would have to be the photo of my wife taking a knife to my severed head.  I put it on a mug.  I wish I still had the original file so that I could share it with you.  Drop in for a visit, and I'll show you the mug.

My point is this: I don't have Photoshop anymore, and I want it.  There are two problems, though.  Firstly, Photoshop is expensive.  Steal it, you say?  An intriguing proposition, but it brings me to the second problem.  Through a series of events that I'm not too sure how came to pass, I am no longer an administrator on my own computer, and the only other administrator is a former co-worker from several jobs ago.  Even if I did steal it (or buy it, for that matter) I wouldn't be able to load it onto my computer because I don't have sufficient administrative privileges.  Also, my desktop computer doesn't have a monitor, so what's the point?

Again, not one of my photos.  I'm stealing these from's Photoshop contests.

I move that Photoshop should come standard on all computers.  For free.  Photoshop is a basic human right.  Why shouldn't I be able to stick the head of Justin Bieber on the body of Ron Jeremy?  It's a travesty of justice.

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